What I learned from Notting Hill Carnival

So, this weekend I went ‘Home’ to Carnival! Its been a long two years, and I must admit that I have missed it so much!

Anyone who knows me well, will know how I’ve always struggled with my body image and had a love/hate relationship with it.

I was always one of the tallest girls in the room and in my eyes, I was always one of the biggest. I looked in the mirror and somehow saw something completely different to what everyone else saw. Growing up my idea of beautiful was the likes of Rachel (Jenifer Anniston) Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) and Monica (Courtney Cox) from Friends. I didn’t really have anyone to base my body type and skin tone on. I wanted to straighten my hair and stay out of the sun just so that I could look closer to what I viewed as beautiful.

Every year I’d look at old pictures and think ‘God I wish I was that skinny again’ but when the old photo’s where taken I thought I was huge! (How?!?)

Then I got pregnant, and I loved my body, I was growing a human! I loved every curve and dimple, every stretch mark and saggy bit. But after I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy , the same body that I loved so much for 9 months, I grew to hate.

This year at carnival I saw something different, I turned up with the same body issues I had every year I’d been, but what had changed?

My mindset had, the way I viewed the world. I was no longer walking around with my head down hoping that if I didn't see people, they didn't see me.

There was every shape, size, colour and style!

Everyone one was different! But they had one thing that stood out a mile off!

Confidence!

Confidence exudes an energy like no other, Its captivating!

There’s something about a woman who is confident in who she Is, regardless of what she looks like, what the scales say or the number on the back of her dress, whether she's wearing makeup or going bare faced, hair or no hair. The Confidence is seen before the woman herself and she is beautiful, she is addictive. People see her and they want to be like her.

Don't get me wrong, Although we have come a long way from the 90’s concept of mainstream beauty, we still have a long way to go.

But my point here is that if you struggle with body confidence, if you feel as though your body is not worthy of your own love, then all the restrictive diets and baggy jumpers are not going to help. The change has to start in our mind, we have to look at the we talk to ourselves because nothing ever changes if we stay the same. We cant get our confidence externally, it has to start from within. We have to see the beauty in ourselves if we strive for deep, lasting change. When you start to love yourself, like really love yourself, your find out that change may not even be the answer. If someone else has an issue with the way you look that's there problem, not yours.

As women, we are amazing, our body do so much for it and we don’t give her half the credit she deserves.

So here’s 4 tips, I’ve used, to help you fall in love with your body!

#1 – Throw out all the clothes that don’t fit you!

If you’re like me, then half your wardrobe is filled with clothes that don’t fit. There are clothes you brought years ago but wont get rid of because ‘they may fit again someday’. Every now and again you try them on and as before they don’t fit and then you feel crappy and hate your body even more. THROW THEM OUT! When you lose the weight you want to, you can treat yourself with a whole new wardrobe that fits perfectly, and you feel sexy as hell in! stop torturing yourself, because every time you try something on that doesn't fit, your self-esteem dwindles. Stop hating your body and start accepting her.

#2- Get used to seeing your body naked.

Ooh, I heard you shudder through the screen. The sooner you get used to every dimple, tiger stripe, saggy part and wobbly bit, the sooner you can start the rebirthing stage of your wonderful life. If you learn to love your body as it is, you will find it 100 times easier to change it (If that's what your looking to do) . Stand in front of that mirror and look at her! Really look! Start small, find things you like about your body. The more you get used to her, the more you’ll start to love her. Pick positives, not negatives. If you cant find anything you like (We've all been there) start saying thank you to her for what she does for you. Be grateful , grateful for the eyes that help you see, the legs that help you walk. Gratitude increases your dopamine and serotonin levels and makes you feel better about yourself, which in turn makes you happier. Win Win.

#3 – Watch the way you talk to yourself.

Our brain has an amazing way of doing exactly what we tell it. If we say we ‘hate our body’ or ‘We look really fat’ our mind will find everything about our bodies, we really hate, and amplify it. It will generate thoughts that create actions that cause us to put on weight. So, stop working against yourself. Watch the way you talk to yourselves. Swap negative for positive, even if you don't believe it just yet. You’ll not only see a change in the way you feel about your body, you will also start to enjoy being you!

#4 - Wear sexy underwear

We all do it, we all have those comfy pants that we swore would just be for the 'time of the month' but we end up wearing all the time like Bridget Jones. Throw them out! Get something that makes you feel sexy. You're not doing it for anyone else, they don't need to see it. If you're walking round knowing you have some nice lacy red lingerie on under your work clothes, I swear, you'll feel a hell of a lot more confident. Treat yourself and practice some self care! (Yes, wearing nice underwear does count as self care)

And, Remember. Live like everyday is Carnival and be your beautifully perfect self!